Sry I called you an 8
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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