Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
