The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
