She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
