xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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