need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
