help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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