My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I had to cum in my sink.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
