just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
