so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
