Sponge bath it is.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Blood and glitter go together right?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
