We're facebook friends in real life
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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