her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
