so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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