well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
well you can't waste a boner
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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