do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
they're like a gay fantastic four
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
