i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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