I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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