u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
