I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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