ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
