I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
