This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When are your genitals available?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
