I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
