He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
