Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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