I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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