hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My life is pants optional.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
