I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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