I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Randomize
