just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
