I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
