She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We are two peas in an std pod
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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