Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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