look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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