I just pynch a tree in the face
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
