Porn is love you can see.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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