He asked to "fluff my boner.."
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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