i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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