i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
