I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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