That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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