Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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