How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
