I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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