she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
