I could have mohawked her pubes.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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