like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
