Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
