is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
