it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
COCAINE IS GR8
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
